I know the title of this blog doesn’t make sense.
We all know grief is not temporary.
But sometimes, you can’t help but think, I should stop grieving.
I should no longer be grieving.
As I was driving around with my toddler today, I reflected on the past few months and realized Eden is 90% of what I talk about. Even when it’s not directly about her, everything seems to tie back to her. Whether it’s the blogs I write, conversations about stillbirths and miscarriages, thoughts of trying again, or even painting banners — they all revolve around her.
*Did you know the first banner I painted was for Eden’s baby shower? It was the same banner we used to announce her name. That’s why I keep painting — it makes me feel connected to her.*
Today I found myself thinking, “My friends have to be so tired of all this talk about Eden. My followers are probably wondering when I’ll stop posting about her. They must be thinking, ‘We get it, you lost your daughter, let’s move on.’”
And more.
I won’t lie, a part of me thought, “What if this is true? What if I’m being annoying? What if my grief should be temporary and I should just move on?”
But then another part of me thought, ”What if those are thoughts from the devil? What if telling my story is helping other moms? What if speaking about my experiences is supporting other moms? What if.. what if me being vulnerable and open, is showing another mom that there is life after loss — that Jesus is right there by your side?”
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and the host said something along the lines of, “I am not friends with you because your life is perfect. That would be a boring friendship. I am friends with you because you encourage me to be a better person after all life has thrown at you. I choose to be friends with you because you inspire me. I want to be friends with you and help you through your hard times — to walk with you.”
How boring would a friendship be if everything was perfect? I mean, what the heck would you even talk about!?
It made me think back to one of my own reels. In the voiceover, I said, “True friendships are like marriage. You’re there for each other in good times and the bad, sickness and in health.”
So, keep talking about your grief. Keep talking about your struggles. A true friend will continue to listen, be there for you, and hold your hand through it.
And if you don’t have someone to share your struggles with, don’t hesitate to reach out. I would love to talk with you or just sit in silence and cry with you.
Grief is not temporary. Grief is forever.
I’m going to end with this beautiful quote that I found on Pinterest from an unknown source,
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love.
It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot.
All that unspent love gathers up
in the corners of your eyes,
the lump in your throat,
and in that hollow part of your chest.
Grief is just love, with no place to go.”
What are your thoughts on grieving? Leave a reply below, I would love to talk more.
