Anytime I write about my journey of losing Eden, it’s something that has been sitting on my heart for a while. These words, these thoughts—they build up in my mind until I have to put them down on paper. That’s why I have this blog. To get everything out so it doesn’t just sit and fester inside me.
After we lost Eden, a dear friend gave me a notebook. If you know me, you know I love notebooks, pens, and all things school-related. But this one was different. It was covered in flowers, mostly purple—the color that reminded me of Eden. I started filling the pages with truths and Bible verses that people sent me in the weeks after we lost her. Words that carried me through the darkest days.
Today, I want to share those words with you. Maybe you need to hear them too. Maybe you’re walking a similar road, and you need the reassurance that your feelings are normal. Or maybe you know someone who is grieving, and these words could be a comfort to them.
So here they are—the words that helped me survive losing my baby girl.
Truths That Gave Me Strength
- It’s okay if you start to feel normal for a day, or even just a moment. You don’t have to always be sad.
- All my baby girl ever knew was love. The warmth and comfort of my body for those 28 weeks—that’s all she knew. And she loves me for it.
- It’s okay to step away from social media. Seeing pregnancy announcements, births, or babies who were due around the same time as Eden still hurts. It’s okay to take a break. You can come back when you’re ready.
- It’s okay to ask, “Why us?” God can handle our anger, our sadness, and every emotion we throw at Him.
- I don’t have to carry this alone. God wants to carry this for me. I just have to sit in His presence and lay it all at His feet.
- How incredible is it that at just 28 weeks, my baby girl heard the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”?
- My body was ready for her. A friend told me this after I struggled with the fact that I couldn’t breastfeed Maeve but my milk still came in after losing Eden. It reminded me that my body knew. My body was prepared for her. I was meant to be her mama.
- My baby girl is safe. She’s with Jesus. She is safe.
- I don’t have to be strong. I thought I had to hold it together, to be the strong one. But I don’t. Please don’t force yourself to be strong. It’s okay to break down. It’s okay to cry.
- The first thing Eden ever saw was Jesus. She never opened her eyes here on earth. The very first thing she saw was Heaven—the most beautiful colors, lights, and sounds.
The Bible Verses That Carried Me
- “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” – Psalm 34:18
- “Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love.” – Lamentations 3:32-33
- “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb… Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” – Psalm 139:13-16
- “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.” – Revelation 21:4
- “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.’” – Matthew 19:14
- “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
Song Lyrics That Spoke to My Soul
- “I’m learning to trust You, even when I can’t see it. And even in suffering, I have to believe it.”
- “They say there’s no greater pain than childbirth, but I disagree. The greatest pain on earth is carrying and delivering a child you never get to raise.”
- TobyMac – Faithfully
“But when my world broke into pieces, You were there faithfully. When I cried out to You, Jesus, You made a way for me. I may never be the same man, but I am a man who still believes. When I cried out to You, Jesus, You were there faithfully.”
Grief isn’t something you get over in two weeks. It’s been months, and some days it still feels like it just happened. If you’re grieving, I hope these words remind you that it’s okay to feel everything. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. And it’s okay to have a normal day.
I love you all, and I’m always here if anyone needs to talk.
